What are your thoughts about this video? Post your comments below!
I have a question for you. How well do you truly understand women? More specifically, do you have any idea what it’s really like to be a very beautiful woman? How does she feel inside from being stared at wherever she goes?
Does she get tired of being hit on constantly, but at other times find herself seeking the validation she is so used to? What are her frustrations, anxieties, and difficulties that arise just because she is more attractive? Or is her life perfect 100% of the time, because let’s face it most guys will do anything for her, right?
[EDIT 07/13/15 : The original video has been taken down, so I am replacing it with a shorter click, and adding the link the IMDb page for “Not Pretty, Really“]
It seems like the documentary has been taken down, and now it is available here. The video below is the only clip I could find still on youtube:
Unless you have dated a few desirable women then I would think that you wouldn’t really understand the reality of what it’s like to be a woman of particular beauty. If you have studied the female mind, and enough seduction related materials then perhaps you have started to get some insight, but without spending a lot of time around beautiful women, either as a platonic friend (by your own choice,) or through dating, then it’s difficult to have a deep understanding.
I remember several years ago seeing part of a Dr. Phil show, where a stunningly beautiful women, who seemed on the surface to have an idyllic life, just completely broke down on camera. I didn’t get it at the time. I didn’t get that her life could be anything other than perfect. Most people find it difficult to relate to the problems that come alongside beauty. Much in the same way that beautiful women have no concept as to what it’s like being an average, or less than average looking guy. She has no frame of reference. She doesn’t need one though, as she’s not trying to get with the average guy.
Attractive women may get what they want a lot of the time, and they might get treated better than most, but there is a flip side. She has to screen through mountains of men who fake kindness and sincerity, to find the ones who are genuine. Does she find that she frequently gets played by the high valued men in her life? She may find it constantly more difficult in the work place, and not because of men, but because other women are jealous of her looks, and therefore make her life difficult. There may be an emotional separation between her and her best girlfriend. She always gets the attention from guys, who directly hit on her, while treating her girlfriend like chopped liver. This causes difficulties, and is one of the reasons why we say to open the friend first. Win the friends over before focusing your attention on the hottest girl in the group. Realize that there are a myriad other difficulties attractive women face.
Is she brushing you off because she dislikes you personally? Or is she tired of having 12 guys hit on her today with lame approaches, and no obvious regard for her as a person? Perhaps she just needs to make the best use of her time, and has programmed herself to shut down certain advances form ANY guy. Think twice before calling her a bitch.
Understanding her reality will skyrocket your chances of getting further with her. When women feel that you understand their world they will instantly be set at ease, and they will want to connect with you. It is the rarity. It was my good friend Ross Jeffries who first shared this concept with me. Ross calls it “Being An Authority On Her World.” If conveys so many positives about you. She will think, “wow, this guy really gets me!” She will know that you must have dated a lot of beautiful women, therefore there is unstated preselection being conveyed. For you Mystery Method guys out there that would be a DHV (Displaying Higher Value,) while hitting one of the primary attraction switches.
Granted it’s a catch 22, because in order to raise your chances of dating beautiful women it helps considerably to have previously dated other beautiful women. So what can you do about it? Choose to develop platonic friendships with such women for starters. Take an interest in the female mind.
I did find one guy’s video response to the Sundance clip on youtube, sorry I couldn’t embed the video as embedding was disabled according to the author’s settings. If you’re interested in another guy’s thoughts on this then click the HERE.
Her bitch shield is a time management too.
So let me get this straight … there are people out there who are about to lose their homes because they can't afford either their rent or mortgage payments anymore … there are also people out there who don't know when their next meal is gonna be, either for themselves or for their kids … everyday people are getting their loved ones taken away from them in the most heinous of ways … and the only problem that these people in this video can bitch and moan about is that you get treated differently because you're above average looking?
From myself who is also an above average looking person to these people on this video … ARE YOU !@#$% KIDDING ME????????!!!!!!!!!!
Hey arkenton.. I agree with you, there's a lot of shit happening in the world, and this seems minor in comparison. However, this blog is not a political or economical one. It's purely to provide insight into the dating minds of men and women. So for many guys who haven't yet considered looking through the eyes of the very women that they desire, then this video provides them with a valuable glimpse.
Hey JDog, nice to hear from you again. My wife is one of those above average looking persons and she has a very rough time at work. At her workplace all her female peers have average or below average looks. They always go out to bars and discos but they never invite my wife to go out with them (some of them are married too). They don´t even talk to her at work (just good morning, goodbye and work related conversations). And for her is very difficult to make friends due to the fact that she has better looks than other girls. My wife also tells me how the guys at the office always look at her, like she was a piece of meat. And this really get on her nerves. She tells me that she cannot understand why it is so difficult for a guy to look at her in the eyes instead of looking at her body while talking. The only real and few friends that she has are the ones that she made at elementary school. I can tell that being pretty can be a constant pain in the @$$ sometimes.
yep.. thanks for sharing Andres.. that's exactly my experience also from the girls I've dated. Most guys can't connect with such women because they are coming from such a self centered place, only focused on their own desire. So when a guy can just treat her (genuinely) like any other person, and on top of that be able to understand her world. Magic. Cheers!
This is an interesting topic for discussion, JDog. I think you hit right on the mark when you said,
> She has no frame of reference
Relativity is a tricky philosophical viewpoint, but we should all be aware of the fact that things like beauty and intelligence are indeed subject to relativistic viewpoints. The above poster points out that that there are people who struggle to get their lives in order and to live from paycheck-to-paycheck—what is that in comparison to the tribulations of someone who has to deal with being beautiful?
But then again, this criticism falls into the same sort that your mother used to tell you — you know, about how you should eat your brussels sprouts because kids in Africa are starving every day? How well did that one work?
You can turn Mr. Arkenton's criticism right back and say, “Well, what are your troubles compared to someone in a third-world country who has to deal with the real prospect of starvation?”
Or take high school teens. Teenage angst and acne, for example, seems so insignificant compared to the problems of a single working parent, trying frantically to get through college — but then again, try explaining that one to the average high school student.
Empathy is hard to pass around. It really IS a problem with a biased perspective, as you point out. We are who we are. We all have problems, and we all think our problems are as severe as the next guy (or girls).
But enough philosophizing.
The point of your post was to demonstrate that beautiful people are subject to similar insecurities and problems, and I would agree. Very few beautiful people walk through life thinking, “Gee, life is awesome because I'm awesome.”
JDog, thanks for the interesting topic. Judging by your reading list, you're interested in philosophy. I think this whole discourse would fall into the field of standpoint theory or to a very general extent, postmodernism. It's very interesting!
I guess i did come across a bit harsh towards the people in the video and sort of … maybe, missed the point of it. Correction, i didn't miss the point of the vid per say, i just kind of ignored it, it sort of didn't sit well with me because of the way the vid was brought across. Honestly, certain people should've been edited out.
But i do understand. When you think about it, when you really step back and take a look at what women, particularly the beautiful ones, has to go through in order to sift out the losers, to finaly bag herself a winner. It's almost as if she is asking you to save her, but in order to save her from the losers and a life of being single and lonely … you need to play your cards right!
If this was a perfect world, this is how it will go down:
Guy is in a club/bar … he spots a gorgeous girl and they make eye contact, and in that same moment suddenly … time stops … the music and everyone around them freezes, even the smoke that's being exhaled by someone with a cigarette is frozen in this brief moment in time … except, for the guy and the gorgeous girl … she walks up to him and tells him in a very nonchalant manner “hey, i'm the subconscious brain of this beautiful girl. I noticed you, and i want you to know that even though i may not seem like it because my conscious self doesn't know this … i am curious about you, i am attracted … so c'mon over and open me … i will respond, and what ever you do … Do Not Blow It By Mentioning Anything About My Looks! Ya, got it? Good. Now, please save me by showing me what a great guy you are”. Then she walks back to her original position in space and everything un-freezes and time is back on the go.
What a perfect world that would be huh? lol
You wrote: “Is she brushing you off because she dislikes you personally? Or is she tired of having 12 guys hit on her today with lame approaches, and no obvious regard for her as a person? Perhaps she just needs to make the best use of her time, and has programmed herself to shut down certain advances form ANY guy. Think twice before calling her a bitch.”
THANK YOU!! I don't think guys ever think about that. I think if a man ever traded places with a woman he'd probably be in for a rude awakening.
An average night out with the girls consists of:
– Being whistled at while walking down the street.
– Constantly hearing guys say things such as, “Hey baby” … “I'd like to take you home” … “Can I get your number” … “Look at that ass” …and it can get worse than that.
– Being grabbed/touched while at a club/bar, which usually happens before the guy speaks a single word…it's like a “hello” to them.
– Being yelled at or cussed out when you tell them you're not interested.
– Being stared down like you're prey.
If that happened a couple times it wouldn't be too bad, but it happens every time we go out. It's definitely not flattering. It makes me think that all guys are assholes (because those seem to be the ones who always do the approaching), and that they're only interested in me as an object. When out with girlfriends we always turn down drink offers, because there are still the guys who think accepting a drink means we're going home with him. It's hard to tell who's genuine when you're used to the same horrible/rude approach, so we make it easy and try to ignore all the men around us.
I'm still trying to figure out why all the wrong guys are the ones doing the approaching. I would love for someone nice to start talking with me, but it doesn't really happen. Someone will be nice and give a compliment and just walk away, or they'll glance over several times and smile… but never approach. This is why I appreciate you and the other pickup artists for doing what you all do. Hopefully the things you teach will catch on and I'll finally get approached in a respectful way (I'm ready for a date already!). I'd make the first move, but just don't have the guts for it.
Good stuff… one of the things I've found about many beautiful women is that they separate people into two categories, the kind who she can feel comfortable with, and the kind she can't. A lot of men who are not used to being around beautiful women, kind of “freak out” and lose themselves completely and she cannot be around that because it causes all kinds of problems for her. She needs to lose those kinds of people. She needs to make a fast decision in order to stay safe and have a good time.
Good stuff… one of the things I've found about many beautiful women is that they separate people into two categories, the kind who she can feel comfortable with, and the kind she can't. A lot of men who are not used to being around beautiful women, kind of “freak out” and lose themselves completely and she cannot be around that because it causes all kinds of problems for her. She needs to lose those kinds of people. She needs to make a fast decision in order to stay safe and have a good time.
Hi JDog
Here are a few thoughts about this video. This topic is REALLY interesting, because beautiful women:
– Didn't choose being beautiful,
– Sometimes they feel like objects because their looks,
– Even though they're genetic celebrities, I've found that most of them have a hard time finding a boyfriend, mainly because most men don't act like REAL MEN when they're around them…(they act insecure and always try to please her)
So I'd like to suggest men to start treating beautiful women just like NORMAL PEOPLE and not like a goddess…
What do you think about it?
Its wierd but i dident think any women in the videos were anything special at all , they aint that good looking it seems that they have their heads up their asses to much , people who are not that good lucking have problems to just like everyone else they need to just deal with it we all have issues much bigger than these in most cases and the dumb girl is crying because men look at her she is a fool . I think their a bit pathetic stupid girls ! .
Hey everyone. Of course there are serious issues in the world that are messed up. Of course the economy has been going down the pan and yeh people die and lose loved ones everyday. I don't think anyone's trying to say otherwise or say that the problems mantioned in the video are more or less important than those that you have mentioned. Heck, I'm sure if you asked the people in this video they would probably agree with all of the things you have posted. However, you're missing the point, this video has not been highlighted to solve those problems, but to help you lame asses to pull birds. Maybe a bit harsh but I suppose if you want to discuss those things head over to the CNN discussion boards and stop poluting this cracking website with your boring political rhetoric. laterz
J Dog, I do get what you are saying but reallly, which of these women would not want to be attractive? If you know so many do they understand what it is like to be an AFC? To go for long periods of time without anything? Women generally don't approach men, so really their “problems” are difficult to understand. I acknowledge that being beautiful is not perfect in every way but every study shows that attractive people especially women enjoy far more perks than others. These people just can't seem to manage what they have.
Most of them have a hard time finding a boyfriend? Really? Then they are not approachable. Should we make them ugly so they can be happy? Do they care at all about ugly people and their issues? I think not.
Speaking as an artist, and someone who daily looks at many people, studying their biology, physical features and such, getting better understanding for human forms, etc, they are, whats scientifically and mentally in our modern present minds, as beautiful. Most Americans, and those who live in first and second world contries think advertising and fashion models and such are beautiful, take away , lights, camera, editing, makeup, body makeup, tanning, alterations, clothing, and any physical body alterations, they are normal, and above average beautiful, not what they appear to be, but with so many biased photos, videos, and such we see EVERYDAY, our standards are inhuman. To conclude, these woman and men are by definition approachable, desirable, beautiful in our conscious and subconscious minds.